Make the Most of Valentine’s Day

Posted on February 14, 2011 by



Make the Most of Valentine’s Day

By Michelle Yeung


Are you planning on treating your spouse to a special day today? Do you hope to be extra nice to them, shower them with gifts and not get annoyed with them for a whole 24 hours? Okay, it may sound radical, but how about instead, you make a commitment to accept them and their natural disposition for the whole year?

It’s a cliche, but marriage is not about treating your spouse well for one day of the year, rather it’s a life long commitment, to do the best you can by them all the time. A successful marriage takes proper preparation, and a lot of work. It’s not even really just about compromise and sacrifice, it’s more to do with submission and gratefulness to the bestower of the spouse, and this being manifest through excellent treatment of one’s spouse.

Disagreements and tension between spouses can often happen due to natural differences in their make-up. Rather than being the excuse that some people may believe this to be, differences between men and women are a reality and cannot be ignored.

The points below are by no means universal truths for every man and every woman, but they are some common things that I found to be in the natural disposition of some men and women, that are often not accepted or understood by some members of the opposite gender. They will not apply to every man and every woman, so please do not be upset if you find some do not apply to you.

He says….

– “I’m a man. I say what I mean, so please take it at face value. There’s no emotional, deeper meaning. If I say my steak was a touch overdone, I don’t mean I detest your cooking, my Mom’s is a million times better, I don’t love you anymore and I’m thinking of marrying another wife who can get my steak just perfect because you clearly cannot. I mean, my steak was a touch overdone.”

– “I’m a man. I work best when I focus on one thing at a time. If I seem like I’m ignoring you, or disappear for a while into my man-cave, I’m not ignoring you, I’m just focused on something else that’s important. Sometimes I’m not in the mood for conversation, but my silence doesn’t mean I don’t care or I have lost interest. It’s just the way my brain operates, it’s not a reflection of what’s in my heart.”

– “I’m a man. I was made as a logical kind of being. I get confused by questions like “I love you more than you love me, don’t I?”, for the twentieth time in one evening, that don’t seem to serve any logical purpose and strangely never seem to have a right answer. No matter what I say, I’m wrong and I just don’t get it. I don’t mind the questions, but please don’t sulk and get angry if I don’t say what you’re looking for. I can’t deal with questions that aren’t straight forward because I’m a logical thinker.”

– “I’m a man. At times, dates just slip my mind. I tend to remember our wedding anniversary every year, but the anniversary of the second time we met, and the third? That’s, difficult. Not because I don’t care or am not really happy that I met you, it’s just so many dates, how can I possibly remember? I think anniversaries are nice, but I’m a little lost as to the point of celebrating so many. How about I just agree to really try to accept you and your natural disposition for an entire year instead?”

She says….

– “I’m a woman. I have zero spacial awareness. I’m not good with reading maps and no I can’t judge where to turn when my GPS tells me to turn after 300m. Just get over it, it’s not a big deal. I should add, I can’t reverse park as quickly as you can either. I’m not unintelligent, it’s just the way I was made.”

– “I’m a woman. Don’t you realise that everything I say is only true at the exact moment in which I say it, that is, apart from what I said just now. If I tell you that you never compliment me, I mean right now, at this very moment in time, I feel like I want you to compliment me, and I can’t remember the last time that you did.”

– “I’m a woman. I will call you and ask you where you are, and what time you’ll be home. I’m not checking up on you, and I do trust you. Yes, it does make me uncomfortable if you compliment other women (or when I’m feeling particularly sensitive, even mention or talk to another woman), but it doesn’t mean I’m full of suspicion. It’s just my natural inclination to protect.”

– “I’m a woman, I like pretty things. I know that you can’t appreciate my desire for that pink fringed suede purse when I already have another purse that’s functionally identical, but I just want you to realise that I like these things and sometimes, I want more than one of the same item type. I’m not being materialistic, and I’m not getting us into debt, and to me, these two purses couldn’t be more different. I mean, one’s pink and the other one’s camel coloured, right?”

Please leave a comment and add your own points, but only for the opposite genders list.

Michelle Yeung is a British convert, currently living with her husband in Toronto, Canada. Michelle serves as the educational services manager for SeekersGuidance and runs the Sister has Style blog.

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